Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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