so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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