white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
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