his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
