Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
