Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
we're so committed to being not committed
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
