Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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