clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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