He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he was CRYING into my vagina
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You dont lie about slip and slides
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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