i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
