I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
