You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
