i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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