Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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