South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
