TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
