there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
