somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
