dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
