It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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