you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
