I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
