how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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