i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
