the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
