Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
