Pappa wants mamma naked
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
