how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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