At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize