Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm at about main and main street
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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