My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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