just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
why is half of my head shaved?
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