She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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