You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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