it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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