kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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