Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
