She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
