i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
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