Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
