YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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