I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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