I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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