God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
