Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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