He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
