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When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My vagina is officially offended.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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