I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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