How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
