Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
