areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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