I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
