My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
