I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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