you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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