Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
