...so i touched it.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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