He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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