She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
