The best revenge is premature balding
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
