I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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