i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
