Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize