I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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