WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
