you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
