The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize