Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize