I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
