you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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