..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize