sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
