I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
