You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Couch. On fire.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
